We have a tendency to measure worth in the weight of our possessions. Our culture is geared heavily towards consumption. The holiday season only seems to amplify this. Gift giving and receiving is the driving force behind this time of year. We have quantified Christmas – starting our shopping earlier and earlier each year. We break the bank, max out credit cards, and fall into seasonal debt – all for the sake of giving. We experience feelings of guilt, pressure, overwhelm, shame, stress, and sadness instead of joy, appreciation, and love.
Enter Black Friday – the busiest shopping day of the year. We wake up just to wait in line. Traffic jams. Crowds. Stampedes. Chaos. Stress. Hustling. Bustling. Jostling. Rushing. Snatching. Grabbing. High tension. Short tempers. Disrespect. Who gets one of only a limited supply? Oh, this is popular? Maybe I’ll buy the stock out and resell it on the internet for twice as much. There is no caring. No sharing. No compassion. It’s every consumer for themselves out there.
If we pause for a moment, Black Friday can give us some real food for thought. What is it actually about? Who benefits from the sales made that day? Is there any environmental impact that happens as a result? What are we buying? And more importantly why? What compels us to shop, to tolerate the chaos? What happens when we strip away the highly commercialized, highly sensationalized act of holiday shopping?
Is the meaning and spirit of Christmas meant to be fighting one another for the last item on the shelf, rushing around from store to store, honking our horns, standing in long lines, navigating massive crowds, getting pushed and shoved and having the people behind us breathing down our necks, chasing deals advertised from big box stores and corporations? And after a while, one day just wasn’t good enough for us. We needed more. So stores began opening their doors on Thanksgiving Day to give us more time to spend – not with family, but on THINGS.
The holidays should be a time to express gratitude, joy, and contentment for what we already have. Most importantly, each other. Winter is meant to be a season for rest, relaxation, reflection, and going inward. And yet, we’re busier than ever. More stressed than before. The holidays plays out more like a circus than something peaceful, relaxing, comfortable and cozy.
I’ve been called a Grinch a time or two for speaking out about the madness we’ve morphed the holidays into. But I take the Grinch comment as a compliment – reflecting back on the moral of this Suess story:
“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow,
stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ’till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas
I understand that the majority of us will not go without a completely gift free holiday season, especially with children. I’m just hoping to call attention to our mindset – how we approach the act of giving, and in what measure. How we express our love and gratitude for the ones we care about. How we can be more intentional in the ways in which we consume and why.
It’s easy to rely on material goods as our primary expression of love and appreciation. In a consumer-driven society, that’s the message we receive. We’re saturated with marketing and advertisements on the daily. Our lives seem to revolve around material things. And no, of course we cannot quit shopping altogether – certainly not all at once. But maybe there are ways we can become more conscious and considerate. We don’t have to do what we do just because it’s something we’ve always done. What everyone else does. We don’t have to shop just to shop. We do not have to buy gifts just for the sake of buying gifts. We could start asking ourselves questions. Decide what the holidays really mean to us based on our own values and what we’d like to experience and take away from this time of year. And maybe we can decide it’s time to start some new traditions.
We can work to eliminate the pressure of having to buy big and bold. We can quit the disappointment that creeps in when we didn’t get a certain number of gifts or something with a high-ticket price. We can shift our focus to being grateful for the things that money cannot buy. Things that might take a backseat in our holiday priorities without us even realizing it.
So, in the spirit of alternative thinking, here’s just a few Alt/Black Friday ideas:
- OPT FOR OUTSIDE – instead of choosing four walls, choose four elements. Bundle up and take a hike, take the dog for a walk as a family, visit a park or natural area, check out a cool local water feature, or even have a fireside backyard gathering.
- SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY – if you still want to shop, shop small! Support your local businesses, artisans, crafters, and creatives. Black Friday and Cyber Monday promote shopping at national retailers, big box stores, and vir tual shopping spaces like Amazon. Put money back into your community by shopping locally. And don’t forget the possibilities of gifting local experiences. Gifts aren’t limited to material items!
- VOLUNTEER – Give back during the holiday season by volunteering your time to a local organization. What better gift to give than one of service to a local nonprofit in need of some help? Want to spend a little money? Giving Tuesday is right around the corner. What’s an organization that a loved one likes to support? Give a gift in their name!
- BRIGHT FRIDAY – This is a sustainable substitute for Black Friday that aims to raise awareness of textile waste in the fast fashion industry. How? By encouraging swapping, trading, re-styling, and refashioning instead of buying new.
- LEARN A NEW HOBBY – Were you thinking of trying something new but felt like you didn’t have the time to get started? Instead of shopping, get a jumpstart on that learning. Or have a craft idea you never really got around to crafting? Dust off what you have on your shelf and get started. Didn’t have the time to finish an old project? Break it out.
- ORGANIZE & TAKE SOME INVENTORY – instead of bringing in the new, spend the day organizing what you already have. Check out your closets, drawers, or basement. Is there anything you can donate? Plan for a springtime yard sale? I know it sounds more like work than fun, but taking a look at all the stuff you already have, maybe even some of the things that you haven’t seen in a while, can be a really great motivator and deterrent to buying more stuff, at least for yourself.
- CUDDLE UP – Host a Christmas movie marathon or a read-a-thon in the house. Work on completing an old school puzzle or break out some card games or board games. Chilly day? What better reason to hunker down under a pile of blankets with a cup of tea or hot chocolate and a good book or favorite movie.
- MAKE A GRATITUDE LIST – Take a moment to jot down everything you are grateful for in your life. Then take a look at that list. Sometimes, when we see things written out and in front of us, it really helps to put things into perspective.
- HAVE SOME FUN – Treat Black Friday as an extension of Turkey Day. Eat leftovers, spend quality time together, and have some FUN! Create a Thanksgiving leftovers recipe and challenge a family member to do the same. Let the rest of the house vote on the best dish. Recreate the Thanksgiving Day Parade with cardboard-box floats, decorated from things you already have in the house. If there is snow, get out and play in it! If there isn’t, wad up some pairs of socks and have a mock “snowball” fight.
- OBSERVE NATIONAL NATIVE AMERICAN HERITAGE MONTH – November is Native American Heritage Month. This is a time to recognize the history, culture, and contributions of the Indigenous people of our country. Spend some time learning about the tribe(s) nearest to you. Check out if they host educational or informative events in your community, or if there are ways you can acknowledge and support them. NEPA is Lenape territory. They are very active and offer many opportunities for education, engagement, and history with the general public – sharing so much of their wisdom and knowledge of our region.
this wild thing, ltd 